Manners: Do They Still Exist?

During my formative preteen years of being in elementary school, if a teacher, another person in authority or even a neighbor saw us doing anything inappropriately or being somewhere where we should not be, then you can rest assure that we would have to answer to those charges when we got home. By the grace of God, and fearing the inevitable punishment of what we could face if we were found guilty of any wrongdoing, made us choose to walk the straight and narrow more than we cared to. Now that does not mean we were perfect angels. Believe me, we made our share of mistakes and did some silly things that we look back on and wonder what were we thinking. However, the thought never occurred to us to overtly disrespect authority, our elders, our teachers or other adults who tried to teach us to do the right thing.

Of course, we had some adults who violated the boundaries of being the appropriate leaders and protectors of our children. For those who took indecent liberties with children, abused them or did something to intentionally disrespect their families, they have to pay the price for such injustices sooner or later.

Today, it blows my mind and boils my blood to hear young children throwing temper tantrums and going beyond disrespecting authority, adults and their parents. As my mother used to put it when we were growing up, “Where are your manners?” I hear how children talk back to their parents with no obvious chastising or repercussions and think how on earth they avoid immediate punishment of some type. Now, I am not one for abuse, albeit many parents today would think that how we were disciplined 40 or 50 years ago was child abuse. During that time I was subjected to being spanked or feeling the sting of a switch or belt around my legs a couple of times. Experiencing such disciplinary actions were constant reminders that you do not have to remind me to stop doing something wrong repeatedly! I get it!

However, I am very disturbed to hear and watch the behavior of so many kids today having no fear of punishment for their blatant disrespect and wrongdoing, while watching parents use the negotiating approach versus the disciplinary approach. I cannot put all of this blame and attention on these kids without first finding out what type of parenting their parents do. If they are frequently disrespecting their parents in public, then what will they do to others? How will they behave and respond to authority, rules and regulations as they grow up?

We are held accountable for our decisions and behavior. The expletives I hear used so loosely out of the mouths of young kids absolutely blows my mind. Are many parents trying just a little too hard to be a friend instead of a mother, father or guardian? Are we allowing children to tap into any form of communication without properly monitoring what they watch, read or engage into? Are there other external factors shaping and influencing how our children think and behave? Little things I clearly see some children get by with because people thought it was cute, could oftentimes turn into a notorious habit that terrorizes others.

Manners still exist, but the degree and frequency of respectability and politeness needs to increasingly snuff out and override the ill-mannered.