A Thanksgiving Letter to A Grieving Friend

As I reflect on the song, "Its So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday" by the group Boyz II Men, I still find it difficult to cope with the transition of a dear loved one. I met my friend J.B. through his wife who I worked with in an industry that enhanced the physical beauty of women. She was truly the epitome of beauty glowing from within and she knew how to encourage spiritual beauty through those she met and touched. I feel sadness for his pain since he just laid her body to rest a few days before Thanksgiving. For a moment, I think about the empty chair she will never sit in again or the plate that she will not eat from again. I cry because of the agony he is facing this first major holiday without her. I also think about the emptiness he must have felt that first moment he found out she passed on to her eternal life. I can't imagine that first day in which the sensitivity of loneliness finally penetrated his numbness that she, as he once knew her as wife, lover, friend and biggest supporter was suddenly and unexpectedly absent from her body. Such a realization is hard to imagine and fathom.

While I do not profess the gift of prophecy, which is not included in my personal realm of spiritual gifts, I am encouraged that J.B. will begin to elevate to an altitude of greatness that he teaches others to strive for. I'm sure however, he wanted to achieve that greatness with his wife by his side. He did achieve that greatness to a certain, but now his mission is one of greater dedication and urgency. Recently, I was reading a phrase I noted on a piece of paper years ago that said, "Some people come into your life for a reason, season or a lifetime." When we choose our life partners, it is not disclosed whose "lifetime" will be affected longer than the other. While we wish to grow old together, sometimes the predestined plan is to flourish and grow effectively with the time you've been given, and with purpose. After our loved one transitions, where does that leave us and what do we do? Quite frankly, the logical answers are not always comfortable, easy or reassuring.

My friend J.B. and his wife touched so many people's lives. They ministered and gave a lot to others. They showed others what it was like to love, using what you have, wherever you are, regardless of the type of day you are having or how much money you possess. This is the agape love we strive to lift up and spread to others that emits from the Light glowing from within us every day. I realize that the silence in the walls of his home are going to be deafening and agonizing for a while, but in turn will be the ultimate healing agent J.B. may need to show others that you can't put off love; because like an empty well when the water runs dry, the love of your life can leave this world in a matter of a heartbeat.

This morning 3 Carolina Wrens frolicked and sang outside my window on the rail of our deck. I sat for a moment listening to their sounds, watching the quick movements of their short, chunky bodies that amassed any hint of distractions for the present. I thought about J.B.'s wife and how she captured the attention and hearts of so many people who were touched by her singing. She was a songbird who didn't need a huge stage to command the attention of an endearing audience. Thousands were definitely touched and inspired by her singing alone. When I volunteered to visit a local women's facility, she was there to sing for the residents and encouraged them to overcome their adversity, simply through the heart of the words she sang.

Every day is Thanksgiving and the gifts God gives us physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually are great blessings indeed. To my friend J.B., the road ahead is full of uncertainties, but they are also filled with the assurance that God has and always had your back. The strength you garner from your bruised and wounded spirit will be one that will give you the momentum to mount up your wings as a eagle and soar. Your greatest moments have not been unveiled yet.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving Day every day, we will be able to achieve a level of greatness that no one could imagine or even understand. Give thanks and reach for the great things ahead. What does not kill us will only make us stronger, even with the absence of someone we love and miss dearly. I may not understand the magnitude of your pain, but I am sympathetic of your heartache. Happy Thanksgiving J.B.